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Month: November 2011

The 86 list, pt 2


What brings you here?

I come for the waiters. And the urinal cakes.

And the ice with the lemon zest suspended inside. [Shakes melting cubes as waiter flies past] I’ve been trying to decide how I want to spend my time. Or how I want to be while I spend my final years. [Lights napkin to attract waiter] Too soon. Too soon, right?

Soon is now. Or did you mean Let’s eat first?

Hey- I have no problems with death. Some of my best friends are dead.

Never before now; yet. Now is. But yes definitely, food first.

Hey seriously: Order the pecan bruschetta. You will mount everything in sight. The aroma arrives first.  Hovering over thick white china. Like it still jealously guards a secret we’ve since exhausted. An Italian rube of a cherub, with frosted tits and a faraway look and nothing but a thin drool of pure nutted nectar coming from its slackjawed rapture- hovering over a goddamned thick china plate.

Can we get the jazz combo to warm up with Blue in Green? They seem jaded. [Lifts head to double bassist, then slits eyes.] I would tip quite well if they went table to table with a sintering Blue in Green. [Faraway now] I once offended Dave Murray…

Dave Murray? Iron Maiden? [Startled]

Sorry- David Murray, World Saxophone Quartet. I asked him before a show if he would do some Coltrane in the set… He said What do you want me to do, him dying? [Mimes death stagger] That was  quite a moment for me.

‘Sintering‘ though- heat without light, right?

Without melting. Heat without melting. [Shakes melting ice more vigorously as waiters fly past].

Yeah, I’d tip well for that for sure.