There is no chickenshit in turd golf
You are not to remove Stones, Bones,
or furious Broken Club for the sake of playing your turd,
-except upon the fair Green, & that only within a Club’s length of your turd-
Neither Trench, Ditch, or Dyke made for the preservation of the Links,
the Scholar’s Holes or the Soldier’s Lines, shall be accounted a Hazard.
The turd is to be taken out, Tee’d and play’d with any Iron Club.
If your turd come among Water- or any Watery filth-
you are obliged to take out your turd & bring it behind the hazard and Tee it.
You must play it with any Club and allow your Adversary a Stroke, for so getting out your turd.
To any person, Horse, Dog, or anything Else: The turd must be play’d where it lies.
There is no backswing in turd golf
But everyone gets a fair shake as the dog leg left sometime ago